October 14, 2024
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Another long lapse.
I went kayaking on an unfamiliar section of the Grand River last weekend. It was beautiful weather – sunny, clear, low 70s. I checked the weather before setting out. Conditions matched the weather report, except an unexpected and consistent wind whipped up once we were around the first bend. We tried to use the trees on the banks as a buffer, but as the river made its twists, we only found momentary respite. That day I experienced a new situation on a kayak: Paddling with full force, really digging into the water, in concert with the flow of the river, gusts of head winds were bringing me to a stand still. Without a full effort, I am convinced the wind would have sent me backwards, upriver. I’ve dismissed the local minor league baseball team name since its selection. I never thought that West Michigan Whitecaps was a name reflective of the east side of Grand Rapids, as the white-capped waves on Lake Michigan are a 50 minute drive from the stadium at legal speeds. But my ignorance was exposed, as I found myself paddling into white-capped waves that would have swamped my kayak if they were coming from the side. We had to cut our excursion short.
Something else that surprised me was the accumulated deer carcasses along both banks. A full clean skeleton, two in the river water caught up in dead fall trees, and another eight or nine dry on the bank mostly intact. A couple had the holes burrowed into their body cavities where the scavengers were snacking on the innards. But there were plenty of live animals, including Bald Eagles, Cormorants, Egrets, Bluebirds, Crows, Mallard Ducks, along with dozens of Map turtles that were sunning on logs. Also, a black cow chewing its cud. We will hit that section another time to make the complete journey from Lowell to NW Grand Rapids.
The cost of new vehicles generally, and pickup trucks in particular, is baffling to me. At the extreme, who is the buyer that will purchase a pickup with a six-figure sticker? I don’t understand who would buy these pickup trucks for $50k. In the second quarter of 2024, the median weekly wage for full-time workers in the United States was $1,143. This translates to a monthly income of $4,935, or $59,228 per year. Using Des Moines, IA as a stand-in for a “median” city, that unmarried median worker would take home just short of $47,330. That’s no IRA contribution. As of October 2024, the average rent in Des Moines, Iowa is $979 per month, which is 37% lower than the national average of $1,556 per month. How many months would that median worker need to finance? Do they eat at soup kitchens so they can make their vehicle payments?
What is the profile of the guy buying a top trim F-150 Raptor going for $110k (a price which assumes the dealership hasn’t tacked on $5-$30k of extra above sticker)? I don’t feel that the well-to-do, especially those who have to contend with the cramped streets of large cities, are out buying pickups of any type. Maybe the wife gets the top-of-the-line SUV with a Lexus or Cadillac badge on the side, but what rich guys that would buy a truck would buy something gaudy at that expense? People that need trucks to work don’t waste money on silly frills without value that is represented by that Raptor. If you are a youngster who loves to spend the weekend mud-running, you don’t have the money for that truck. Plus, mud-runners are like rock-climbers, purpose-built for technical success, not use as highway commuters, grocery getting, nor as storage shelves for rubber duckies (yeah fuck Jeep and its $90k Rubicon 392). And fuck any version of a pickup or Jeep that is electric battery powered. If you’re buying garbage like that, you’re doing it wrong.
A friend of mine expressed interest in having a pistol in the home for defensive purposes. I’ve been shooting with him a couple times. During a conversation away from the range, he made a non-sequitur about how he didn’t think he’d want to shoot a rifle. I was surprised anyone that had already shot firearms would have that thought rolling around in their mind. It reminded me how ignorant he still was about the basic facts of firearms. The tonnage of firearm ignorance and misconception held by large swaths of the public is what most threatens to cripple American’s rights and civil liberties. What is worse is the intellectual dishonesty that they use to excuse their silly notions. Do you need an AR-15? I don’t, but grandma will find that it will be the easiest weapon to successful defend herself. That is not to say that I would turn down the option of a 7-1/2” barrel in .300AAC Blackout with a whisper pickle and green dot (caret).
I just watched the first season of the Anne Rice inspired The Mayfair Witches. I never read any Rice books, but the two Lestat movies were each entertaining to me because I don’t try to link them or their continuity. (RIP Aaliyah). When I finished the season of Mayfair, I figured it was probably a one-and-done, especially on Netflix. But it appears season two has been green-lit. That pleases me. This might be the only witch show that didn’t have me rolling my eyes in the first five minutes. I admit to watching way too much of the original Charmed, but turn of the millennium Milano was too tasty to fully resist. And don’t forget it was peak McGowan (before her Harvey trauma) and Cuoco (before Superman exposed her messed up inner-self). Thanks goes out to Eilish Zebrasky and Daniella Gschwendtner, the individuals responsible for dressing those stars for success. I had a private laugh at the more recent reboot of the series that was one of the full-blown DEI casted shows. They acted like Charmed was just about “the sisterhood”, and the viewing public would appreciate bland actresses in layered, boxy outfits. Wasn’t one kind of chubby? Wouldn’t know, because they were draped with the entire 50 over 50 catalog line. But my interest in the Mayfair Witches has nothing to do with attractive women. They are cast to represent a cross-section of an interesting family, not as eye-candy. The leading actress is good looking like the mom in Gilmore Girls, which is to say not ugly, but easily overlooked if you put her on with the cast of Buffy in their prime. To sum up, it is any interesting story because of the lore that is established throughout. I want to see how the situation continues to unfold.
[I had a comparison picture put up here, but this platform screwed up the post. You have Google, figure it out. Trust me: Buffy>original Charmed>reboot Charmed -- wait! I found a local save, see below]
My blind pig found a truffle in the DFHMFFL this weekend. Tip of the hat to Longsnapper Cole Kmet.
I was in New Orleans for work a couple weeks ago. Most interesting place I had an opportunity to visit (there was not much time for opportunity) was M. S. Rau. Check out the webpage. I think everything in there was museum quality plus. And nearly every item cost more than a 2025 F-150.
Having changed my own oil for much of my life, I find it difficult to fully trust the grease monkeys at the oil-change shop to execute their mission without error. I am happy we have the real deal for actual mechanic work on retainer. Okay, mechanics don’t work on retainer, but the relationship has been built up for decades and we don’t wait long if we need him to deal with an issue. I feel bad for people who haven’t found a trusted car mechanic. I feel a little less bad for the subset of those people who are men who never bothered to figure out how and why a car works. From an actual exchange I’ve had:
- Quasi-man: “I think there is an oil leak on the bottom of the car.”
- Me: “Is the filter not tightened?”
- Quasi-man: “No, I think it is coming out of the very bottom thing.”
- Me: “The oil pan?”
- Quasi-man: “Yeah...yeah, the oil pan.”
- Me: “Is the drain plug tight?”
- Quasi-man: “I don’t know. I am taking it to the dealership on Tuesday to see.”
- Me: “What?! All you need is a ½ wrench or the metric size for that Honda. Don’t you even own a wrench set?”
- Quasi-man: “I tried, but the car sits too close to the floor.”
- Me: “Well, yeah. Did you jack it up?”
- Quasi-man: “No. I don’t trust those jacks that come with the car. They are so small—”
- Me: “You don’t have a floor jack, do you? Kinda like you might see in a NASCAR pit stop, but not so massive.”
- Quasi-man: “They sell those? Where would a guy buy something like that?”
- Me: “I am disengaging from this conversation. I cannot trust you with more information because you are likely to kill yourself looking for an oil leak. Jesus. You are lucky that you make a decent enough living to pay someone else to take care of you.”
Reminder: Count Chocula is in stores now (unless they are already sold out). I pulled two boxes off a pallet of mixed monster cereals in a wide aisle at the grocery store. I didn’t realize that every cereal seems to get a special Halloween treatment and they added a new Monster Cereal named Carmella Creeper. It’s green. That must look great coming out. Anyone ever drink a 32 oz Hi-C Ecto Cooler?
The pallet was stacked four layers high, so about my chin level. The only Count Chocula I could see was on the bottom layer. A few fearless devotees had already stripped the outer layers of the two-wide row. I could see the three levels about starting to take a lean outward due to the lack of supporting boxes on the outer edge. I was not about to be denied. I pulled the next Count box to the edge and rotated it 90 degrees to provide support with a pass-through space for mining the next two boxes for the cereal box cavern. I retrieved my prizes without catastrophic cascade failure. And to let you know how swell of I guy I am, I advised the manager at the end of the checkout line that trouble was brewing in the Leaning Tower of Halloween General Mills. Because you know that I wasn’t the last person on a knee that would be fishing those Chocula boxes out.
I went to Iceland at the end of August. I went during the Jazz Festival in the capital, and was at concerts each night at Harpa. It is an exceptional piece of architecture. However, the best fun was flying in a helicopter beside the newly active volcano. It was something right out of the movies, with roiling red lava shooting up into the air and long, slow rivers of lava flowing and darkening. I also spent four hours on a boat watching for whales. A baby Minke Whale played around our hull for a while, surfacing on various sides. We also caught a pod of Bottlenose Dolphin playing between our boat and another. It was great being out on the bay. We could see the gases from the volcano and the unique landscape along the coast. I found a hamburger place near the docks that had Founders cans in the cooler. But they also made crazy milkshake flavors, so I ordered a birthday cake milkshake. It was then that I caught the Diabeetus. Here is a picture that this platform will only display rotated 90 degrees:
Do you know how happiness manifests in the physical world? I bet you said it was the Delmonico I grilled to perfection on Friday. That is not a wrong answer, but the preferred answer is the forgotten bottle of sake I happened across in the liquor closet while desperately searching for something to catch my fancy. For reference, I most fancy Junmai.
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