By malfunction, I mean the on-board Wi-Fi antenna on my Ace-dur lappy went off-line when one of the tablet hinges broke free from the screen. By malfunction, the USB replacement antenna snapped in half when my Ace-dur fell off the edge of the table. So, my only access to the interwebs has been my Trashiba with Windows Se7en. Trashiba has a battery life of 3.5 minutes now, so it is a default lesser desktop. My desire to sit and type has been proportionally curtailed. The keyboards are set up differently. My muscle memory "delete" is "F12" on Trashiba. No number pad on the Trashiba, either. First world problems.

No poker on holiday Mondays. Last week I finished in the middle of the pack for Hold 'Em and Omaha. I was burned down by a string of fifth street suck-outs.

I was happy to watch Nebraska and Michigan keep their seasons intact on Saturday. I am glad they both had a tune-up game. They needed it. Anybody else notice the difference between 1st quarter suspended-player-less Alabama and the 2nd quarter smashing machine they morphed into? A couple of southern boys and I polished off a bottle blackberry bramble while we watched football and played dice. Be aware that the bramble will sneak up on you if you are not paying attention.

I like that Connors is already in the mood to do some trading in the law-school league. I don't like that he feels it necessary to ping my flip phone with messages trying to sell his position at 12:30 am. Geronimo isn't untouchable, he just isn't fire sale material at this point. I might need him if this Arizona situation goes sideways.

I re-joined the dentist's family league this year. It was weird process going through a snake draft. I cleaned up on RBs though. I own all of LA (minus LAC Jackson who I could get off the wires), I have the freshmen from CHI and BUF, and I have Ingram for backup. We only need to start two WRs, and I have D. Adams. With Kittle and CHI def, I feel pretty confident. Somebody's teenage kid swiped my Wentz way too early in the draft, so I am a bit bummed there. I will spend my time rooting for Mitch and that Chi-town team this year.

I did get the axle/rear wheel of my bicycle resolved. We took a ride around Millennium Park today. It promises to be a good September for bicycling. Afterward, I rinsed-off in the "pool" with a couple of beers to keep me company. There were plenty of people out today on their kayaks, Seadoos, paddle boards, boats, or being pulled behind them.

Tonight I am making lavender-chamomile tequila margaritas on the rocks. We ran out of ginger syrup, so no more raspberry fizzes. There are three different bottles of gin in the residence, so I calculate that a martini and friend(s) will be part of the holiday deck refreshment. I made teriyaki last night. The chicken was chunked and has been soaking for the last 24 hours. It makes me sad that, if the human race keeps up this heading, future generations won't understand the deliciousness of teriyaki-soaked meat.

On a related note: We received Omaha steaks on Friday from my uncle. Good job, uncle!

The fuel pump on the car is fixed. MH had a work meeting on the east side, so I hitched ride with him to retrieve it. When it gets a proper supply of petrol, that V-8 hums.

Can I start a gofundme page to raise money for a new set of Vans? My blackies are wearing out. I feel like I should hold off buying since summer is almost over. I won't need a new pair until Spring. But if I had gofundme money, I could splurge early -- maybe even on a fancy color scheme.

Where the hell does Lebron get off thinking he has the right to own "Taco Tuesday"? Somebody needs to check that shit right into the glass. Do or say something innovative or creative, Lebron. Then copyright that.

Owning paint markers requires a "can I use paint markers here?" moment multiple times a day. Only watercolors on expensive paper is more satisfying. I need to get painting.

I started Carnival Row on Prime this week. I have a hard time turning down any opportunity to see Cara. Did you know she is 5'8"? She is so slight of frame, I assumed she was in the under 5'5" bracket. I am not good at estimating real-life size from television and movies. We have been tricked for so long by wee-men in starring roles, that I think they all are tiny. Take Orlando Bloom (also in Carnival Row) as an example. I assumed he was a smaller guy, but he is a regular-sized dude (5-11, 170).

We shared Imperial units with the UK and its empire, but they lost most of the empire and converted to metric. But after metric conversion, they re-defined measurements like a "cup" to fit the metric system.  A UK Pint is 20 oz, while our American Pint is only 16 oz. They also casually reference people weight using "stone". What kind of bullshit is this? I think this is at the heart of the internal squabbling over Brexit. The Brexitiers want to get back on the Imperial/American bandwagon, while those EU Clingers don't want to abandon their metric weighs. (Did you see what I did there?) Can you imagine going on a blind date where part of the description you get beforehand is the girl's weight in stone? Remember, fourteen pounds per stone. You know, the nice, base-ten friendly amount of fourteen. Round up to fifteen and be pleasantly surprised.

The law school draft happened this past weekend. I wondered from my game plan, and I might be punished for it. Like always, I need the correct RBs to break and tear things. It feels weird to be writing this as I have a readership of one (maybe two), and he was there for the event. Anyway, I am going to state this for the record despite what I just wrote. Here is a scenario:

Playing a small tournament-style poker game, it came down to myself and one other. He had a presumptive stack advantage, but no desire to keep playing (as evidenced by his abandoning his seat to another mid-game, only to reclaim it after that replacement drew A-A). This high-stack player offered to chop the pot. He offered me $40 of the $100 pot, and I agreed. As he gave me a twenty, he said, "How about thirty?" Egged on by the crowd and upon further review, he thought he deserved more. I refused and requested my $40 forcefully. I couldn't believe he would not stick to the bargain. I just snatched the second twenty from the table and walked away.

So the question is, am I the asshole? The most vocal in the room seemed to think so. But it is hard to know because some were commenting to intentionally rile things up. Some thought it was a joke. It bothers me that a friend would take advantage where a stranger would not have. It bothers me that someone's word is discarded over $10. It bothers me that a group of pussies run their mouths for entertainment because they have never been checked in the real world. It bothers me that people I consider friends would suggest that I would be the one checking or harming any of them.

Re: Monday Night Poker

I took down the Hold 'Em main event and knocked out the bounty player. I just missed the money in the late-night Omaha. I almost was knocked out early, when I called an all-in after the flop came A-9-9. I held A-J, but the pre-flop betting pattern and amounts left me with low confidence in my hand. That betting built a pot size that I was unable to pass up, however, so after some hesitation, I called. At that point it was heads-up. The other guy showed A-Q.  In my gut, I had known better. I was ready to take my medicine. Then 4th street came: J. And then 5th street: J. So nice. It paid for my lodging the previous weekend. Next I need to win my season entry fee.

I started watching The Boys (on Amazon) this evening. Mucho bueno. I have been waiting for something new from Karl Urban, and Shue is still great. I am not sure if I can watch any other superhero shows now that I have seen this. This is almost perfect. I feel like whoever brought Preacher to the TV had some involvement with the decisions made here. Bizarre, wonderful, disturbing, troupe-breaking decisions. About time I found something worth watching again on Amazon.

At the gym, today, I bit off the first piece of the final five-plus hour long Hardcore History series on the great Persian empire. This is one is going to talk about post-marathon Thermopylae. Forty minutes in. That guy does a good job. A tidbit from what I heard today: An ancient punishment for revolt required the opening of the gut, removal of the intestines, and the grilling of those intestines beside the still live and conscious offender. Sometimes they just need a little tough love.

What idiot thought it would be a great idea to tie the Backspace button into the Go Back function of a web browser?

Shaved the beard today with a razor. My cheek skin can breathe again, unlike my nose at night. A recording made at the auction reminded me how poorly my head tunnels process air when I am not conscious. I need to shim those nasal passages open.

I was told that travel soccer for 7 year olds in a nearby state cost $750 per season just to be on the team. The cost of traveling each weekend to the tournaments is the gift that keeps on giving all season. Isn't soccer the number-one sport in the world because it only takes an inflated pig bladder and an open, flat space to play? How can you justify hundreds of dollars in cost for a sport the impoverished masses can afford to play in order to distract themselves from the fact it is not their day to eat? Do they have to clear-cut a spot in the forest to practice on? That might cost some money. Do they have to carry molestation insurance? Maybe their goal nets are bespoke handmade silk. Are they importing the sod from Kentucky? All I can say is that $750-per buys a lot of orange slices.

The entire series is raw stupidity, but having caught a quick chunk of Wick2, I have this question for the "screenwriter(s)": If the head chop-shop guy knew that Johnny would be coming for his car, and that would cause carnage in his place of business, why the hell didn't he conspicuously park that Mustang outside with the keys in the visor? Put a goon across the parking lot on a stool to stand watch until Johnny gets his ride. That would confirm that no teen joyriders take it and that Johnny has possession. That guy would have saved a lot of men, vehicles, and expense putting the car on the curb. What the hell?

I did not recall hearing about this movie when it was in theaters in 2013. I discovered it in a pile of Blu-Rays at my friends house. With a cast like this, I thought it had to have been successful. I was confused as to why it hadn't crossed my radar previously. Now that I have seen it, I understand why it is scored 32/57 on Rotten Tomatoes. The writing was the problem. So who is this Will Beall guy?

He writes a single book and becomes a Hollywood darling? He needed training wheels to write Aquaman? Suspect. Especially when you see Hollywood writer wife. Was that relationship established before or after that first book? It is amazing to me that the suits subjected all the star power in Gangster Squad to the first scribbling of some ex-detective. Call me jealous. But more so, call me disappointed in how the movie turned out.

I also borrowed a copy of Sicario. I've already seen that one plenty, but it never gets old watching Benicio Monserrate Rafael del Toro Sánchez speak softly to people he is about to beat or shoot. Brolin and Blunt. Watching either of them is entertaining. Having them together on screen makes me happy. Time for a list:

Favorite Roles played by Favorite Actors

• del Toro - (tie) Alejandro Gillick, Harold Longbaugh
• Josh Brolin - Llewelyn Moss
• E. Blunt - Full Metal Bitch
• Harrison Ford - Indiana Jones
• Turturro - Jesus Quintana (The Jesus Rolls is slated for 2020!)
• E. Stone - (tie) all roles, all of 'em, doesn't matter, need more
• Eli Wallach - Tuco
• Walken & Hopper - Vincenzo Coccotti & Clifford Worley
• Matt Damon - Rannulph Junuh (JOKES! Actually, my fav is Donny)

That was my work day yesterday. Plus another 1.5 drive time. Back at again in 5.5 hours.

I think I lost 4-5 lbs hustling though.

How much does Brown WR Oak bring in a fantasy auction next week? $2?

After a cleaning soak overnight, I have a group of bearings that fall into two categories: shiny mirror chrome and bronze-tinted shiny chrome.

Now I have to figure out if that bronze tint means corrosion. An inspection of the surface under a lamp with  a magnifying glass didn't indicate any surface irregularities, other than color. I am finding too much general commentary and not enough detailed for my situation.

While I was swimming yesterday, I got the craving for a Hilo Japanese box lunch with tempura shrimp and rice cones.  There is no place within 150 350 miles of here where I could get anything on par. And I doubt that is far enough, but I am giving Toronto the benefit of the doubt. Vancouver/San Fransisco maybe? I think I was triggered by seeing Alton Brown's old episode on seared tuna prep.

Fresh coconut in the shell. I could use some of that as well.

I think I am going to put those bronze-tinted bearing back in. I am sure that is the wrong answer. Time to get greasy.

I will probably be ranting about gun laws frequently because I have run into so many impediments as of late. I tell you how to limit the fun of target practice had by gun owners is to continue to have only a few expensive places where those guns can be legally used. The last free public area within 80 miles of me has been closed all summer for a build out. The State took a perfectly good, unsupervised, open field and sand hill setup and ruined it by installing rifle and pistol lanes. This will choke down that number of shooters able to access the area at a give time and probably require a DNR guy to sit there when it is open. I don't want to imagine the vig they are going start charging. I guess this one reason why people move to the country and buy land. The silly thing is that I can shoot waterfowl in the backyard where I live, just as long as I have a license and get written permission to discharge a shotgun from the 12 residences within 450 feet of where I live. The water-skiers and paddle boarders should be done for the year by the start of September goose season. I might shake up a fisherman or two if I actual went through with it.

Cyrus admitted that he has an advisor for matters regarding his fantasy football team. I will be watching for a different strategy at the auction this year. But old habits die hard, and Cyrus loves to pay top dollar for his personal WR crushes. Most importantly, Cyrus will not "Kittle" me again in the final rounds this year.

Cyrus messaged me today. That is why I am posting. I promised him.

Looking at the previous posts, it appears I was chronicling my Monday poker nights (I think at Spencer's request). Some people say that A-Q is a top tier starting hand. Last Monday, for me, not so much. I got ripped three times with A-Q. I got knocked out of the tourney by pocket nines that set up on the flop, while I was holding A-A. I also lost a hand holding A-K.

I like this time of year for the availability of outdoor swimming. I am in the lake water an average of every-other day. I have a 450 yard marker I swim out to and back from. I haven't been able to bike lately. My rear axle snapped. It has been an interesting journey trying to replace it. I now know the difference between cassette and freewheel. I have a freewheel. I now also have the freewheel removal tool. Thankfully, my father has a torque wrench because that bitch wasn't moving with regular crescent wrench inducement. My bearings are soaking in gasoline overnight.

I will be working at the South Haven Blueberry festival this weekend. Come buy a doughnut from me. I am selling for my buddy who has married into Blueberry farming. They make blueberry doughnuts as a side hustle. Those doughnuts are now being incorporated into a Hudsonville specialty ice cream flavor.

I have been researching a can to attach to my .45 USPc. I received the threaded barrel for Christmas, but I have been unsatisfied with my options for purchase. I am surprised how many of the $600+ suppressors cannot be broken down for cleaning. I am also miffed at how hard it is to determine if a particular suppressor has a compatible Nielsen device for the 16x1LH threads on my barrel. It is enough of a hassle and expense that I have gone down the rabbit hole of determining what it would take to make my own suppressor. Everything I read about making a booster at home without a factory spec to follow ends with "it's a great way to destroy your gun in just a few rounds." I have not found any complete booster solutions for sale. I can find pistons to change out of an already owned suppressor. I have seen Nielsen device springs, too, but for sale with the connotation that they are replacements for a particular system already owned. If I were trying this for my fixed-barrel SR22, I would already be building. However, I don't want to "waste" a Form 1 build and the $200 stamp just for my .22lr. And I don't have a threaded barrel for that pistol, yet. They talk about how we need more gun laws, but I think they could do with gutting the silencer section of the NFA. And the short barreled rifle section. Ridiculous extra costs and wait times that don't stop crime or keep anyone safe.

The visceral reaction some people have toward firearms frustrates me. Talking with Taunt about magazine capacity restrictions ended with him picking arbitrary quantities with the justification "because I said so!" And he is a gun owner. When I was in San Antonio for the AG concert, I asked BJ to pull into a local gun shop so I could see how they did things in Texas. He wouldn't go inside with me. He waited in the car while I make a quick review of the SA revolvers in stock. Speaking with Berger, now dealing with California's ridiculous gun laws, I was surprised he wasn't more miffed about how pointless so many of those laws are. He informed me that his lack of irritation stems from the fact that he can undo all the Cali mods to his ARs in about five minutes. Silliness.

Will the rest of Tarantino's career just be "alternative history" stories? I am not sure if I liked Once Upon in Hollywood. I liked parts of it, but I  guess I need to read a think-piece about it by someone smarter than me to see if there was any grand redeeming point to it.

I hope that was enough for tonight, Cyrus. I have to go to bed.

I took down the law school fantasy football league this year despite the guts of my team falling apart at the end of the year. I was a waiver wire machine.

This past Monday was the end of season week where the points totals of the previous five weeks equate to bonus starting chips. Previous weeks' buy-ins also contribute to a higher pay-out for the end of season. I made the money at third place and won the season kitty for worst bad beat holding AAA99.

I stuck around after Hold 'Em and won the smaller Omaha game. So that is something.

My last hand of Hold 'Em:

A-10, pre-flop all-in.

Two callers.

Flop: 8-9-4, rainbow

4th: Q

All-in between my callers. Both holding J-10.

See a goddam pattern yet?!

Been busy on a new review project, but here is the hand that ended my Hold 'Em night:

Me: 6-6

Three of us call the raiser to my right.

Flop: 6-J-8

Better continues with $125 bet. I take it to $500. Fold behind me, and without waiting for the last guy, original better says, "I'll take you all-in."

After apologies, there is a reluctant fold by the fourth guy. I have the better's exuberance chalked up to a large pocket pair, so I pounce. He had A-A.

4th Street: A

The guy who hadn't been given a chance to call before the Aces went all-in had folded A-J. So that cocksucker caught the case Ace to screw me. Obviously, the case six didn't show on 5th.

The host of my usual Monday night home game worked a freeroll for our group at a local, re-buy, charity tournament. The tournament folks were relocating from a Vets hall to a bowling alley with more space for tables. I made it past the first break, and then to the first table consolidation.

Without getting into all the lead-up and details, here is the hand I went out on:

Me: AJ

I am all-in pre-flop. I get two callers.

Flop: Q J 7 (all spades)

The other two go all-in.

Caller 1: J8

Caller 2: J10 (and the biggest stack)

4th street: 6 (of spades)

Guess which greasy, little shit with gradient-lens sunglasses had the only spade in the hole. The 8 of spades.

5th street: 9 (diamonds)

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Old men who own houses with acre+ yards are using that yard as an excuse for some uninterrupted alone time on that riding mower.